There are a lot of different facets of being someone's partner: you're their support system, their teammate, their lover, their biggest advocate — but at times, you have to play the role of concerned critic, too. Everyone messes up occasionally, and hypothetically, your partner is someone who's well-equipped to carefully point out your shortcomings, then help you learn and grow. That being said, if you feel like you're being criticized by your partner in a non-constructive way, that's not a healthy dynamic.
'There is a difference between pointing out the impact of a specific behavior and attacking you as a person,' Jordan Pickell, a therapist who supports individuals and couples to navigate relationships and find healing after abuse, tells Bustle. 'Your partner may have reasonable complaints about things you do, but [if] the criticism is constant, you are slowly worn down into feeling bad about yourself, like you can't do anything right.'
- Criticism is never nice, but you accept it because it comes with the territory. Stories that are completely unsubstantiated and untrue are another matter. Shane Warne QUOTE-HD.COM Australian Cricketer Born.
- They are threatened by your competence, attractiveness, etc. So they are trying to level the playing.
For a relationship to function long-term, both partners need to learn how to give constructive criticism instead of simply attacking each other's personalities or behaviors. That being said, there are some things your partner should never criticize you for: here are seven things that should be considered off-limits targets of criticism in a relationship, according to experts.
You just never give up, no matter how hard the challenges are, and observe this world with a healthy dose of criticism and don't just follow the herd like somebody else might do. Apr 12, 2020 - Explore Money Hayer's board 'Criticism quotes' on Pinterest. See more ideas about quotes, me quotes, great quotes.
It's pretty unlikely that your sexual desires and fantasies will line up with your partner's 100 percent — and that's totally OK! What isn't OK, however, is having your partner criticize or shame you for what you like in bed.
'How we express ourselves sexually and what our desires and longings and turn-ons are, are as important to overall personal fulfillment as our relationships, friendships and professional choices.' Cyndi Darnell, sex and relationship therapist, tells Bustle, '..The golden rule here is 'don't yuck someone else's yum' by turning up your nose or being horrified if you partner shares with you that their interest may be different than yours. You may need help working out the differences if they become problematic in the relationship, but under no circumstances is it OK to shame or ridicule a partner because their erotic expression sits outside the mainstream.'
Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have feelings, and they're not always easy to digest or untangle. But even if your partner doesn't fully understand your feelings at any given time doesn't give them the right to invalidate or criticize them.
'Someone should never be criticized for feeling the way that they do,' Julie Williamson, a licensed professional counselor who specializes in helping singles establish healthy dating relationships, tells Bustle. 'Even if someone's feelings seem irrational to you, they are experiencing them, and need validation and support in trying to understand them. Criticizing them for feeling emotions that don't make sense to us will not at all help the situation, and will most likely harm the relationship in terms of decreasing trust and emotional closeness.'
Our dreams and aspirations — professional and otherwise — are a huge part of what makes us who we are, and if your partner openly criticizes your goals and dreams, that's a major red flag.
'Unless their aspirations are dangerous, there is no reason to criticize your partner's aspirations for being a bad idea or unrealistic,' Caleb Backe, health and wellness expert at Maple Holistics, tells Bustle. 'If your partner's aspirations really aren't realistic, they will eventually realize it themselves.'
Part of being someone's life partner means loving and accepting them for all of who they are — which means that if your partner is critical of aspects of your personality that you can't change, they don't fully accept you for you.
'Criticizing things that your partner has no control over can be incredibly hurtful,' Backe says. 'If you chose to be in the relationship, it is your job to accept your partner for who they are.'
For most people, the clothes we wear are an extension and expression of who we are, so even if your partner doesn't love all your fashion choices (and vice versa), it's important for them to respect your autonomy over your own appearance.
And if something thinks an outfit is really bad, there's a better way to handle it than by being outright critical: 'If your partner is planning to wear an outfit that is unsuitable for an occasion, or it does not flatter their body type, try to refrain from telling them the outfit doesn't look good on them,' Davida Rappaport, speaker, spiritual counselor & dating expert, tells Bustle. 'Instead, why not suggest they wear an outfit that you like better on them or is more appropriate for the occasion. By suggesting a replacement that makes them look better, you are avoiding telling them that you don't like their taste in clothes or that you might be embarrassed to see them wearing it in public, etc.'
A little friendly debate can be good for a relationship, but only if it's done in a healthy way — with respect and consideration on both sides. You should never feel like your partner is criticizing or demeaning you for your opinion.
'If you have a partner who.. doesn't respect your opinion, listen to what you have to say, and/or consider your point of view when you hold a conversation, over time, you may begin to feel inadequate, frustrated and your confidence and self-esteem will start to drop,' Rappaport says.
Everyone's at least a little sensitive, but some are moreso than others — and that's nothing to be ashamed of. However, if your partner mocks or criticizes you for being 'too sensitive' or showing too much emotion, that's, at best, unfair and, at worst, abusive behavior.
'Avoid criticizing your partner about how sensitive they are,' Michelle Joy, MFT, relationship expert at MarriagePrep101.com, tells Bustle. 'They are sensitive in general or to certain things for a reason, and if you just criticize them for it, you are sending them a message that your love has conditions. You also are also sending a message to your partner that how they feel is not acceptable to you, which divides partners instead of connects them.'
The bottom line? No one is perfect, but being a healthy, mature adult means being able to soak up feedback from your loves ones when you're out of line or you mess up. Being a healthy, mature partner means knowing how to deliver that feedback in a constructive way — as well as knowing which topics are off the table where criticism is concerned.
Accepting criticism is not something that anyone enjoys and seeks out. However, if you look at people who are successful, vs. people who are often stuck, a deciding factor is often their willingness to listen to criticism and learn from it. While note all criticism is valid, some surely is. Decide what applies and learn from it, and let the rest go. Look at the motivations of the person who is offering it to you. Even if the message is not always delivered in the best manner, if the ultimate goal to keep you from making a mistake, or to help you to grow? Even people who are simply hyper-critical, can speak kernels of truth sometimes.
While it might be difficult to hear and take in, let the hurt feelings and manner of the message go, and ask yourself what you can learn from it, if you can, and how it might make you even better at what you do. This can be at work, in your relationships, or in anything that matters to you. Take the message and not the messenger in many instances, and you will learn a great deal. None of us is without room for improvement, and if we choose not to be defensive, to take the meaningful messages out, and to let the negative and hurt feelings go, we can only move closer toward success. Please read below some powerful thoughts on accepting criticism.
'Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.' – Dale Carnegie
'The pleasure of criticizing takes away from us the pleasure of being moved by some very fine things.' – Jean de La Bruyère
'Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.' – Aristotle
'You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.' – John Wooden
'Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting.' – Emmet Fox
'When virtues are pointed out first, flaws seem less insurmountable.' – Judith Martin
'Remember: when people tell you something's wrong or doesn't work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.' – Neil Gaiman
'The trouble with most of us is that we'd rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.' – Norman Vincent Peale
'When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.' – Unknown
'It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.' – Daisaku Ikeda
'The artist doesn't have time to listen to the critics. The ones who want to be writers read the reviews, the ones who want to write don't have the time to read reviews.' – William Faulkner
'If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion.' – Calvin Coolidge
'I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.' – Charles Schwab
'I criticize by creation, not by finding fault.' – Marcus Tullius Cicero
'Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.' – Ralph Waldo Emerson
'Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that man's shoes.' – Elvis Presley
'Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots.' – Frank A. Clark
'People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.' – Gary Chapman
'Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults, but having faults different from your own.' – Unknown
'It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.
So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.' – Theodore Roosevelt
Quotes Never Accept Criticism From Someone Dies
'Before you go and criticize the younger generation, just remember who raised them.' – Unknown
'Who do you spend time with? Criticizers or encouragers? Surround yourself with those who believe in you. Your life is too important for anything less.' – Steve Goodier
'Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.' – Winston Churchill
'He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.' – Abraham Lincoln
'I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man's self-respect is a sin.' – Antoine de Saint-Exupery
'Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.' – Eleanor Roosevelt
'One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself' – Mark Twain
'That was excellently observed', say I, when I read a passage in an author, where his opinion agrees with mine. When we differ, there I pronounce him to be mistaken.' – Jonathan Swift
'Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.' – Benjamin Franklin
'Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.' – William Arthur Ward
'A man interrupted one of the Buddha's lectures with a flood of abuse. Buddha waited until he had finished and then asked him: If a man offered a gift to another but the gift was declined, to whom would the gift belong? To the one who offered it, said the man. Then, said the Buddha, I decline to accept your abuse and request you to keep it for yourself.' 'Children need models rather than critics.' – Joseph Joubert
How To Accept Criticism
'Don't criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.' – Abraham Lincoln
'We need very strong ears to hear ourselves judged frankly, and because there are few who can endure frank criticism without being stung by it, those who venture to criticize us perform a remarkable act of friendship, for to undertake to wound or offend a man for his own good is to have a healthy love for him.' – Michel de Montaigne
Author Bio :
Dr. Nikki Martinez received her Masters and her Doctorate from Illinois School of Professional Psychology, and completed her pre-doctoral and post-doctoral fellowship at Gateway Foundation in Lake Villa, Illinois. Head of Clinical Development for www.drnikkimartinez.com/. She is an Adjunct Professor for a graduate programs, a Blogger for the Huffington Post, lead contributor to Everyday Power Blog, Older Dating, Success Stories, All Love Women's Talk, Sivana Spirit, Proud Stories, and a Contributor to the Chicago Tribune. She just published her 8th book through Amazon.com.
Nicole Martinez, Psy.D., LCPC
People Who Cannot Accept Criticism
Website: www. DrNikkiMartinez.com
There are a lot of different facets of being someone's partner: you're their support system, their teammate, their lover, their biggest advocate — but at times, you have to play the role of concerned critic, too. Everyone messes up occasionally, and hypothetically, your partner is someone who's well-equipped to carefully point out your shortcomings, then help you learn and grow. That being said, if you feel like you're being criticized by your partner in a non-constructive way, that's not a healthy dynamic.
'There is a difference between pointing out the impact of a specific behavior and attacking you as a person,' Jordan Pickell, a therapist who supports individuals and couples to navigate relationships and find healing after abuse, tells Bustle. 'Your partner may have reasonable complaints about things you do, but [if] the criticism is constant, you are slowly worn down into feeling bad about yourself, like you can't do anything right.'
- Criticism is never nice, but you accept it because it comes with the territory. Stories that are completely unsubstantiated and untrue are another matter. Shane Warne QUOTE-HD.COM Australian Cricketer Born.
- They are threatened by your competence, attractiveness, etc. So they are trying to level the playing.
For a relationship to function long-term, both partners need to learn how to give constructive criticism instead of simply attacking each other's personalities or behaviors. That being said, there are some things your partner should never criticize you for: here are seven things that should be considered off-limits targets of criticism in a relationship, according to experts.
You just never give up, no matter how hard the challenges are, and observe this world with a healthy dose of criticism and don't just follow the herd like somebody else might do. Apr 12, 2020 - Explore Money Hayer's board 'Criticism quotes' on Pinterest. See more ideas about quotes, me quotes, great quotes.
It's pretty unlikely that your sexual desires and fantasies will line up with your partner's 100 percent — and that's totally OK! What isn't OK, however, is having your partner criticize or shame you for what you like in bed.
'How we express ourselves sexually and what our desires and longings and turn-ons are, are as important to overall personal fulfillment as our relationships, friendships and professional choices.' Cyndi Darnell, sex and relationship therapist, tells Bustle, '..The golden rule here is 'don't yuck someone else's yum' by turning up your nose or being horrified if you partner shares with you that their interest may be different than yours. You may need help working out the differences if they become problematic in the relationship, but under no circumstances is it OK to shame or ridicule a partner because their erotic expression sits outside the mainstream.'
Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have feelings, and they're not always easy to digest or untangle. But even if your partner doesn't fully understand your feelings at any given time doesn't give them the right to invalidate or criticize them.
'Someone should never be criticized for feeling the way that they do,' Julie Williamson, a licensed professional counselor who specializes in helping singles establish healthy dating relationships, tells Bustle. 'Even if someone's feelings seem irrational to you, they are experiencing them, and need validation and support in trying to understand them. Criticizing them for feeling emotions that don't make sense to us will not at all help the situation, and will most likely harm the relationship in terms of decreasing trust and emotional closeness.'
Our dreams and aspirations — professional and otherwise — are a huge part of what makes us who we are, and if your partner openly criticizes your goals and dreams, that's a major red flag.
'Unless their aspirations are dangerous, there is no reason to criticize your partner's aspirations for being a bad idea or unrealistic,' Caleb Backe, health and wellness expert at Maple Holistics, tells Bustle. 'If your partner's aspirations really aren't realistic, they will eventually realize it themselves.'
Part of being someone's life partner means loving and accepting them for all of who they are — which means that if your partner is critical of aspects of your personality that you can't change, they don't fully accept you for you.
'Criticizing things that your partner has no control over can be incredibly hurtful,' Backe says. 'If you chose to be in the relationship, it is your job to accept your partner for who they are.'
For most people, the clothes we wear are an extension and expression of who we are, so even if your partner doesn't love all your fashion choices (and vice versa), it's important for them to respect your autonomy over your own appearance.
And if something thinks an outfit is really bad, there's a better way to handle it than by being outright critical: 'If your partner is planning to wear an outfit that is unsuitable for an occasion, or it does not flatter their body type, try to refrain from telling them the outfit doesn't look good on them,' Davida Rappaport, speaker, spiritual counselor & dating expert, tells Bustle. 'Instead, why not suggest they wear an outfit that you like better on them or is more appropriate for the occasion. By suggesting a replacement that makes them look better, you are avoiding telling them that you don't like their taste in clothes or that you might be embarrassed to see them wearing it in public, etc.'
A little friendly debate can be good for a relationship, but only if it's done in a healthy way — with respect and consideration on both sides. You should never feel like your partner is criticizing or demeaning you for your opinion.
'If you have a partner who.. doesn't respect your opinion, listen to what you have to say, and/or consider your point of view when you hold a conversation, over time, you may begin to feel inadequate, frustrated and your confidence and self-esteem will start to drop,' Rappaport says.
Everyone's at least a little sensitive, but some are moreso than others — and that's nothing to be ashamed of. However, if your partner mocks or criticizes you for being 'too sensitive' or showing too much emotion, that's, at best, unfair and, at worst, abusive behavior.
'Avoid criticizing your partner about how sensitive they are,' Michelle Joy, MFT, relationship expert at MarriagePrep101.com, tells Bustle. 'They are sensitive in general or to certain things for a reason, and if you just criticize them for it, you are sending them a message that your love has conditions. You also are also sending a message to your partner that how they feel is not acceptable to you, which divides partners instead of connects them.'
The bottom line? No one is perfect, but being a healthy, mature adult means being able to soak up feedback from your loves ones when you're out of line or you mess up. Being a healthy, mature partner means knowing how to deliver that feedback in a constructive way — as well as knowing which topics are off the table where criticism is concerned.
Accepting criticism is not something that anyone enjoys and seeks out. However, if you look at people who are successful, vs. people who are often stuck, a deciding factor is often their willingness to listen to criticism and learn from it. While note all criticism is valid, some surely is. Decide what applies and learn from it, and let the rest go. Look at the motivations of the person who is offering it to you. Even if the message is not always delivered in the best manner, if the ultimate goal to keep you from making a mistake, or to help you to grow? Even people who are simply hyper-critical, can speak kernels of truth sometimes.
While it might be difficult to hear and take in, let the hurt feelings and manner of the message go, and ask yourself what you can learn from it, if you can, and how it might make you even better at what you do. This can be at work, in your relationships, or in anything that matters to you. Take the message and not the messenger in many instances, and you will learn a great deal. None of us is without room for improvement, and if we choose not to be defensive, to take the meaningful messages out, and to let the negative and hurt feelings go, we can only move closer toward success. Please read below some powerful thoughts on accepting criticism.
'Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.' – Dale Carnegie
'The pleasure of criticizing takes away from us the pleasure of being moved by some very fine things.' – Jean de La Bruyère
'Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.' – Aristotle
'You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.' – John Wooden
'Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting.' – Emmet Fox
'When virtues are pointed out first, flaws seem less insurmountable.' – Judith Martin
'Remember: when people tell you something's wrong or doesn't work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.' – Neil Gaiman
'The trouble with most of us is that we'd rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.' – Norman Vincent Peale
'When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.' – Unknown
'It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.' – Daisaku Ikeda
'The artist doesn't have time to listen to the critics. The ones who want to be writers read the reviews, the ones who want to write don't have the time to read reviews.' – William Faulkner
'If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion.' – Calvin Coolidge
'I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.' – Charles Schwab
'I criticize by creation, not by finding fault.' – Marcus Tullius Cicero
'Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.' – Ralph Waldo Emerson
'Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that man's shoes.' – Elvis Presley
'Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots.' – Frank A. Clark
'People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.' – Gary Chapman
'Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults, but having faults different from your own.' – Unknown
'It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.
So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.' – Theodore Roosevelt
Quotes Never Accept Criticism From Someone Dies
'Before you go and criticize the younger generation, just remember who raised them.' – Unknown
'Who do you spend time with? Criticizers or encouragers? Surround yourself with those who believe in you. Your life is too important for anything less.' – Steve Goodier
'Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.' – Winston Churchill
'He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.' – Abraham Lincoln
'I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man's self-respect is a sin.' – Antoine de Saint-Exupery
'Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.' – Eleanor Roosevelt
'One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself' – Mark Twain
'That was excellently observed', say I, when I read a passage in an author, where his opinion agrees with mine. When we differ, there I pronounce him to be mistaken.' – Jonathan Swift
'Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.' – Benjamin Franklin
'Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.' – William Arthur Ward
'A man interrupted one of the Buddha's lectures with a flood of abuse. Buddha waited until he had finished and then asked him: If a man offered a gift to another but the gift was declined, to whom would the gift belong? To the one who offered it, said the man. Then, said the Buddha, I decline to accept your abuse and request you to keep it for yourself.' 'Children need models rather than critics.' – Joseph Joubert
How To Accept Criticism
'Don't criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.' – Abraham Lincoln
'We need very strong ears to hear ourselves judged frankly, and because there are few who can endure frank criticism without being stung by it, those who venture to criticize us perform a remarkable act of friendship, for to undertake to wound or offend a man for his own good is to have a healthy love for him.' – Michel de Montaigne
Author Bio :
Dr. Nikki Martinez received her Masters and her Doctorate from Illinois School of Professional Psychology, and completed her pre-doctoral and post-doctoral fellowship at Gateway Foundation in Lake Villa, Illinois. Head of Clinical Development for www.drnikkimartinez.com/. She is an Adjunct Professor for a graduate programs, a Blogger for the Huffington Post, lead contributor to Everyday Power Blog, Older Dating, Success Stories, All Love Women's Talk, Sivana Spirit, Proud Stories, and a Contributor to the Chicago Tribune. She just published her 8th book through Amazon.com.
Nicole Martinez, Psy.D., LCPC
People Who Cannot Accept Criticism
Website: www. DrNikkiMartinez.com
Twitter: @DrNikkiMartinez
This page is a perfect portal regarding the 9th Class Results 2021 and previous years' results for different education boards in the country. Just enter your roll number and get complete details and information about your 9th class result 2021. Results 9th class 2020. 9th Class Result will be announced on 19th August 2020. All the educational boards have been instructed to prepare the result by 19th August 2020. The Punjab Educational Boards will announce the result in August. Boards of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa will announce the result in July. 9th Class Result 2021 - Result of 9th Class Result The most important news for 9 th class students is that there will be no result announcement for 9 th class. As per BISEs academic schedule, the 9 th class exams were scheduled to be held in April. Result Announcement Dates 2019. The students who happen to appear in the final exams of the 9th and tenth class are often worried about their results and are too much curious to know that when their results will be announced. 9th class result 2021 is under the supervision of its controlling and monitoring body. This body makes it sure for all the boards that the exam process is fine and fair. Also, the result submission and position holders declaration were independent. Almost 37 districts of Punjab are being controlled by the specified boards of those regions.
